Well it's the day after the party at my house, 2:19pm, I've been sleeping for the past 6 hours and I still have a raging headache.
Last night was one of the most devastating nights I've ever experienced. It happened like this...
Everyone started arriving at about 6pm and everyone had arrived by 6:30 and we'd started drinking. In total their were 6 guys there. The guy I really like lets call "B", makes it easier. So B brought his car and he decided he'd drive down the street and get pizzas before he had a drink so he went and did that with a couple others. They got back from the pizza trip at about 7:30. After eating and some time had passed B was texting some people and was saying he was trying to get some girls to come around. After about 10 minutes he said that these three girls from school wanted to meet up at a service station a few blocks away. So I grabbed house keys and locked the place up and all 6 of us were walking up my street to this park. We jogged the way out of our street and later walked (alcohol gives super running energy I think). Smacked B on the arse while we were running up the street as well ;)
We had arrived at the petrol station. It was about 8:30 now I think. At the service station there were this group of guys, people I'd recognised from school, they are the type who start fights for fun etc. We were standing back and keeping an eye out for this group of girls. After 5 minutes one of these guys walked over to us and was saying how this group of muay-thai kick boxers are going to be going there soon to beat them up and how they wanted us to have their backs. We pretty much just ignored him and tried not to aggravate. Eventually B text the girls and got the message that the girls wanted us to meet them somewhere else which is closer to their house. It was just down the street again so we started walking down there. We saw the cops so I thought it would be best to walk back down a side street where B and another friend walked straight through the service station. The rest of us had to walk a little longer. We walked down the side street back onto the main street and B and the other were and could see them in the distance as their way was faster. We walked along this strip up to a corner shop and saw some cops again at the corner shop where we were meeting. We had not caught up to B and the other yet they had kept going. We walked up another street and eventually caught up to them and they were with the girls.
One of the girls and me had been pretty good friends a little while ago at school and the other two I knew from school, one of which a real stuck up bitch. We were just wandering around for a while I think they were looking for a park. After about 30 mins of wondering around I think it was, they'd found it. We sat down there, at this point I was feeling really bad as I'd been practically tagging along the whole time. I was pretty much just standing there the whole time while the others were flirting etc. They had a bottle of drink as well which they were drinking. After a while I thought it would be best to text my brother and let him know I was okay if he was wondering why I was not at home, as he was not there when we left. After a while we noticed a big fire starting over near the residential area so we started to walk away. At this point I decided to ditch the others and just go home, another friend was with me as well. We got home and just sat round there and drank. 10 minutes later all of the others arrived back at my house with the girls.
I was going crazy after about 30 minutes of them being there, B and one of the girls were getting all private as well, sitting out the back together for ages. After they came back inside the went out the front down the end of my street apparently. The other two girls went home at this point, I thought they were angry with the other girl but it turns out they just left. I was just chilling out the back for a while with my dog, I was so sad. B and the girl came back and went into my bathroom for like 2-3 hours. I think at about this point, if there were a button to end it all I would have hit that button so fast. After a while I think they'd come out and I was really fucked up at this point, mix of sadness and lots of alcohol wasn't too good. I ended up just crashing in my room on my bed.
I was woken up in the morning at about 7 by B saying that he was going to go and take that girl to work. I fell back asleep and woke up about 30 mins later. I went and got a drink and have a sick, I sat out in the lounge room for a while were a couple friends were sleeping and a couple were awake. I heard something which I really didn't want to hear, that B was getting lucky in the bathroom for those hours, he was getting head apparently. The two friends who were awake ended up going to mcdonalds for breakfast but I said I was too sick to go down. After about 2 hours from when B had left he was back, asked if I wanted to go to mcdonalds with him, I said yes and we drove down. When we were in the car he was talking to me about everything other then getting head and how she was all emotional because she'd just broken up with her boyfriend or something. We sat in mcdonalds and ate. I didn't have much to say really was mainly just small talk. We ate then went back home. We were all sitting round in the lounge room and someone mentioned the BJ and B was saying it wasn't even much of a BJ and that he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't drunk. He also mentioned how it was all super hush hush, in my head I was like "fuck that".
After a while of sitting around everyone left, as they were walking out and I was sitting near the door on a chair they were all saying thanks and stuff for the "party". B's thank you was... "yeah thanks jesse, wasnt much of a party though really, oh i'll shutup now i'm starting to sound like a prick".
That's that, you may think wow that was a big read, think about the total hungover kid who wrote it :)
In reply to steevo's question on my last post, he is just a really ridgy-didge bloke and he has a 0-100kmph @ 2.4 secs motorbike :D
Good bye all.
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Shit. I know how you're feeling. That has to be a classic closet scenario. Lots of alcohol and your crush hooks up with some random girl in the next room. Brings back painful memories for me. There's only one real solution...
ReplyDeleteWhen you're ready.
"There's only one real solution...When you're ready." What do you mean by this? Coming out? I've been thinking about it a lot recently and how easy it would make things.
ReplyDeleteYes, sooner or later you have to come out. It's too hard to find someone when no-one knows you're gay. But think carefully first. How will your family react? How will your friends react? Once you're out there's no going back.
ReplyDeleteridgy-didge ???
ReplyDeleteWill you be in the same school next year? If not, and school year ends in Dec. there I think, right. That's just a few months to find out if he is interested.
The supposed BJ for 2-3 hours sounds fishy. Does not ring true really. And the fact that he says he only did it because he was so drunk hints at maybe he is not 100% HET.