Wow...

Well it's the day after the party at my house, 2:19pm, I've been sleeping for the past 6 hours and I still have a raging headache.

Last night was one of the most devastating nights I've ever experienced. It happened like this...

Everyone started arriving at about 6pm and everyone had arrived by 6:30 and we'd started drinking. In total their were 6 guys there. The guy I really like lets call "B", makes it easier. So B brought his car and he decided he'd drive down the street and get pizzas before he had a drink so he went and did that with a couple others. They got back from the pizza trip at about 7:30. After eating and some time had passed B was texting some people and was saying he was trying to get some girls to come around. After about 10 minutes he said that these three girls from school wanted to meet up at a service station a few blocks away. So I grabbed house keys and locked the place up and all 6 of us were walking up my street to this park. We jogged the way out of our street and later walked (alcohol gives super running energy I think). Smacked B on the arse while we were running up the street as well ;)

We had arrived at the petrol station. It was about 8:30 now I think. At the service station there were this group of guys, people I'd recognised from school, they are the type who start fights for fun etc. We were standing back and keeping an eye out for this group of girls. After 5 minutes one of these guys walked over to us and was saying how this group of muay-thai kick boxers are going to be going there soon to beat them up and how they wanted us to have their backs. We pretty much just ignored him and tried not to aggravate. Eventually B text the girls and got the message that the girls wanted us to meet them somewhere else which is closer to their house. It was just down the street again so we started walking down there. We saw the cops so I thought it would be best to walk back down a side street where B and another friend walked straight through the service station. The rest of us had to walk a little longer. We walked down the side street back onto the main street and B and the other were and could see them in the distance as their way was faster. We walked along this strip up to a corner shop and saw some cops again at the corner shop where we were meeting. We had not caught up to B and the other yet they had kept going. We walked up another street and eventually caught up to them and they were with the girls.

One of the girls and me had been pretty good friends a little while ago at school and the other two I knew from school, one of which a real stuck up bitch. We were just wandering around for a while I think they were looking for a park. After about 30 mins of wondering around I think it was, they'd found it. We sat down there, at this point I was feeling really bad as I'd been practically tagging along the whole time. I was pretty much just standing there the whole time while the others were flirting etc. They had a bottle of drink as well which they were drinking. After a while I thought it would be best to text my brother and let him know I was okay if he was wondering why I was not at home, as he was not there when we left. After a while we noticed a big fire starting over near the residential area so we started to walk away. At this point I decided to ditch the others and just go home, another friend was with me as well. We got home and just sat round there and drank. 10 minutes later all of the others arrived back at my house with the girls.

I was going crazy after about 30 minutes of them being there, B and one of the girls were getting all private as well, sitting out the back together for ages. After they came back inside the went out the front down the end of my street apparently. The other two girls went home at this point, I thought they were angry with the other girl but it turns out they just left. I was just chilling out the back for a while with my dog, I was so sad. B and the girl came back and went into my bathroom for like 2-3 hours. I think at about this point, if there were a button to end it all I would have hit that button so fast. After a while I think they'd come out and I was really fucked up at this point, mix of sadness and lots of alcohol wasn't too good. I ended up just crashing in my room on my bed.

I was woken up in the morning at about 7 by B saying that he was going to go and take that girl to work. I fell back asleep and woke up about 30 mins later. I went and got a drink and have a sick, I sat out in the lounge room for a while were a couple friends were sleeping and a couple were awake. I heard something which I really didn't want to hear, that B was getting lucky in the bathroom for those hours, he was getting head apparently. The two friends who were awake ended up going to mcdonalds for breakfast but I said I was too sick to go down. After about 2 hours from when B had left he was back, asked if I wanted to go to mcdonalds with him, I said yes and we drove down. When we were in the car he was talking to me about everything other then getting head and how she was all emotional because she'd just broken up with her boyfriend or something. We sat in mcdonalds and ate. I didn't have much to say really was mainly just small talk. We ate then went back home. We were all sitting round in the lounge room and someone mentioned the BJ and B was saying it wasn't even much of a BJ and that he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't drunk. He also mentioned how it was all super hush hush, in my head I was like "fuck that".

After a while of sitting around everyone left, as they were walking out and I was sitting near the door on a chair they were all saying thanks and stuff for the "party". B's thank you was... "yeah thanks jesse, wasnt much of a party though really, oh i'll shutup now i'm starting to sound like a prick".

That's that, you may think wow that was a big read, think about the total hungover kid who wrote it :)

In reply to steevo's question on my last post, he is just a really ridgy-didge bloke and he has a 0-100kmph @ 2.4 secs motorbike :D

Good bye all.

School (assignments)

Just finished 6 hours of work on an IPT assignment! For those who don't know, IPT is Information Processing Technology, the fun computing stuff (software coding,design, etc.)

Time for some blogging and eventually some sleep (just hit midnight).
As a blog reader the thing which has always persuaded me not to write a blog myself is not knowing what to talk about, do I cover just my everyday life, to my understanding it is just whatever is on the mind, which a lot of people do as I have seen.

Has not even started spring here yet and yesterday we pushed temperatures up to about 34 degrees celsius. Not to mention the humidity on the coast here. Luckily for me I had my first three classes at school in air-conditioned rooms :) It gave a shock when walking out of the room when it came time for lunch though.

Today wasn't as bad thankfully. Was asking around at school today if my friends wanted to have a party on the weekend at my house, sounds like a definite yes.

I live at home with my mother and brother. My brother is 19 this year. I have two sisters who live elsewhere. As for my father, he wouldn't classify as a "father". I used to live with him for a while with my brother although I left eventually when I'd figured he is a complete prick and my brother left shortly after he had finished his schooling.

Then I come back to the point, my mother has currently been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. Really cool guy, their relationship seems quite strong. This guy lives about 20 minutes away and mum stays at his place most weekends, this leaves the house open for my brother and myself to do pretty much what we please eg. party.

I've had a couple parties before at my house, they aren't much of a party, usually just 5-10 closer friends chilling. Never turns out to be any girls, lol I don't mind but my friends are usually always like "awww" and carry on etc. etc.  I plan to invite a few more people this time though, I usually keep the invite open for friends of friends aswell although no one usually brings anyone along.

Last time was an exception when the guy I like brought along a male friend of his, they are best friends I'd say. He talks like he barely likes him as a friend to me though whenever he's not around. This other kid is "straight" but the poofiest person I've ever known, gets really annoying, I think it's more so because he spends a lot of time with "The One" (jealous).

Okay, I'd best get to bed, 12:23am.
G'night all.

The beginning of a new career

This is the start of my blogging life. I hope to meet some new people and share ideas with others.
A little more about me:

 I carry a burden on my shoulders every day of the week, I don't plan on telling those close to me because I am scared that I will lose them, at the same time I am scared that if I don't share my secret with others soon enough I will see the things which I missed out on fly past me. Currently I have told one family member and one friend who I know in person (I say "in person" because obviously there are online friends) about my sexuality. I haven't gained anything out of telling my family member and I still feel paranoid about the point. More came out of telling my friend as it turns out he has shared similar feelings.

At the moment I have been thinking of only one thing (person really) and that is a friend of mine from school. It has come down to the point where I live each day just to see this person, such a dependency. Unfortunately I am quite the pussy when it comes to taking risks, so I quiver at the thought of telling him how I feel.

On to other topics:
Generally I like to share my opinion and I find the fun in arguing with those who disagree.
I like peoples opinions on anything, even if I disagree with them.